August 7th, 2012

Not a very good day today

Pardon me for a little bit of ranting and bitching I have to do right away. The latter part of this is an update on the transplant situation.

So, I woke up at 2am today with excruciating pain from my pinched Sciatic nerve. It seems to be a trend now that I pinch my Sciatic every hospital stay from sleeping in these beds.

Not being able to lay flat and not wanting to wake up Mark by calling a nurse to my room, I wandered down the hallway to the nurse's station. There were two nurses sitting at the desk along the wall and a third nurse came out of a room and asked some questions about a patient. I stood at the counter and waited for them to acknowledge me. They even looked right at me, into my pain-riddled face and said nothing.

Thankfully, MY nurse walked out of a room at that moment and asked me what was wrong and why I was up. You know, the things those OTHER nurses should've asked me, regardless of whether I was "their" patient or not.

So I got a pain med (Roxycodone) and sat up for a little while until I could feel it's effects begin. It was a brief relationship. I started tossing in pain around 6am again. I finally woke up around 8:15am and I was feeling a little nauseous. I passed it off.

I waited for RT (respiratory therapy) until 9:30am (they're supposed to be here at 8:30am), hung out in bed while Mark got ready for work and then immediately began dry-heaving. I HATE dry-heaving. Never have I just wished I could puke. The dry-heaving caused my left tonsil to swell. Then my jaw started hurting on the right side where I had strained it the other day. I had just woken up and already I was a hot freaking mess.

After Mark left, I finally got a treatment and it was 10:30am by the time I got to eat my cold breakfast. I swear, today and last night are DEFINITELY the "b" team. My nurse today has the empathy of a rock, and it apparently takes my RT and hour and a half to do someone else' treatment, which is what her excuse was for not getting here on time.

I tried eating food. It didn't work out so well. Things tasted funnier than usual. I tried going for a little walk in the hall. Felt weird the entire time. Came back to my room and puked my face off. They gave me a Zofran in pill form (kinda stupid since I can't seem to keep anything down). I vomited immediately afterwards and was then left to wonder if I puked up the anti-puke med I just took. I find myself really missing the staff up on C3. There's a completely different competence level happening here.

Anyhow, since I can't have Tylenol or Ibuprofen, I had to get an aspirin for the mind-numbing headache I've had all day. I guess since I didn't sleep well last night, my body wanted to make up for it today and I slept almost the entire day away. Hey, at least I wasn't puking anymore!

I spoke to the Liver transplant team for a little bit today. They are still in the process of convening with the lung tx docs about what should happen. I just got a CT scan with dye done last night, so I believe that they are reviewing those results and determining where to go from here.

I don't really know how to feel other than nervous and apprehensive. I was just getting my head wrapped around the idea of new lungs. Then they throw this at me. There are quite a few places here in the US that have done so many lung transplants, it's a pretty common practice now. There have only ever been 45 double lung/liver transplants performed in the US, EVER. The stats are scary to me because there really aren't enough numbers. I'm praying to God that I am in the right place for what needs to happen.

I'm praying that the transplant teams come to me and say that my liver is amazingly strong for having end-stage liver disease and that all will be fine with just the dl tx, and NOT the liver too.

I feel so blindsided. I hate that I used to be a drinker and took that all for granted, not even thinking about what I was doing or destroying. I was far from an alcoholic, but I should have taken better care of myself. I had a martini and a half glass of champagne on my birthday. That's the extent of my alcohol use. Most of the damage done to my liver has been from over three decades of REALLY harsh antibiotics

There's nothing I can do about it now though, so I'm trying not to obsess about all the things I should and shouldn't have done.

Getting tired again. I'm hoping to hear tomorrow what the verdict is. I don't really know how to feel until I hear it from them directly. Praying for good news, please keep your fingers or toes or eyes crossed for me too!

And a HUGE MASSIVE thank you to everyone that has donated and/or shared the links to donate. You are most appreciated and I hope you are all blessed with good health and good Karma!


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