June 1st, 2012

Keeping Busy

I find myself trying to keep busy these days. Hobbies are pretty valuable as the days pass. Something made me sad the other day, and the emotion kinda hit me out of the blue. Mark asked me if I remember what day a certain event took place and I told him that I remember the event, but I don't remember the day because days are all the same to me anymore. They just run into each other and really have no consequence.

It made me think about how I really have nothing that breaks up the monotony. Most people have SOMETHING, like a job or children/family, or some other responsibility that helps to form some sort of routine, but I have nothing. I do nothing. At least I FEEL like I do nothing. I've been tearing apart my back yard as a way to get away from sitting in front of my computer all day, or taking a series of naps. My major focus in life right now is on my health and trying to retain what little control over it that I have. I think this is why any time I leave the house, I call it "an adventure".

Today's "adventure" consisted of me driving to Sunnyvale in the hopes that this person's projection screen that they were giving away was still in their driveway, and then almost being late for clinic.

Clinic went well, or about as well as it can for someone at my stage. I didn't get thrown in jail, so any day that I walk out of there is a good day. I just finished a round of Cayston and my FEV1 today was 32%.

I seem to be hovering at this point. I fluctuate between 28% (at sick) and 33% (at healthy). As it stands, I am just happy that I haven't lost any more function. I have O2 now, so it has made a few things easier to manage. When I have hypoxia or pleurisy, I can strap on the nosehose and get relief within the hour. My car/motion sickness has gotten better as well. The only downfall is that it is more stuff for me to either carry or lug around, which in turn, causes me to tire out more easily. Oh well, can't win them all.

I went on another "adventure" the other day (Wednesday). I have been really interested in all things garden, so I wanted to find some bird feeders and perhaps a bat house and maybe even a ladybug house too. Bats eat mosquitoes and I HATE mosquitoes. Ladybugs eat garden lice. And Ladybugs are just awesome. I stopped at a Target to see what they had and walked out empty handed. The Home Depot next door was quite disappointing as well. I was starving and the nearest restaurant was a Sizzler.

I had never been to a Sizzler, only heard it mentioned in movies and whatnot, so I thought I would try it out. Nothing special, just a mediocre steakhouse. I DID meet the most interesting woman there though. She approached me and asked me about my oxygen use. She then told me that she has been a nurse since 1952. She and I sat and talked for over an hour. Her name is Lidia and she is 82 years old. She still drives, lives in San Francisco, speaks several languages, and still teaches. She was such a joy to talk to. She gave me her number and I hope to have coffee or lunch with her again soon. She had wonderful stories.

I am very excited and a little nervous about leaving tomorrow. I am SUPER happy that I will be with my honey soon, even though he is working mad crazy hours at the convention. He just informed me that they have just been given 24 hour access to the arena, so now they can work as long and as much as needed.

I'm happy that I will have the time to just meander down the coast and stop wherever and whenever for whatever. There's no rush on my getting there, so I plan on being a tourist the whole way there. I'm taking the scenic route down HWY1, so there will be plenty to see. Most of all, I will be happy to see Mark. I hate being apart from him for so long. Tomorrow is one week since he left.

I haven't really any set plans for what I'm going to do in L.A. while I'm there. I'm assuming that I will be driving a lot though. I told Mark that I might even end up in Tijuana, just to say that I've left the country! I want to see San Diego, I hear it's beautiful there. I also want to visit the Queen Mary. Two of my favourite things; an old ship, and something that is supposed to be one of the most haunted places in Cali.

I guess I'll just have to allow myself to be a tourist and see as much as I can. Mark and I drive back home on the 10th or so. We plan on being leisurely and just enjoying the time with each other. I love road trips and adventures with him. It's so much better when you have someone you can enjoy those things with.

~E




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